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  • Tracie Rasmussen

Masculinity Good, Toxicity Bad

Men can be assertive, commanding, bold, focused, and driven. Men can be stoic, insensitive, boisterous, and stubborn. These personality traits are not unique to males, and they are not necessarily negative attributes. XY chromosomes are not the cause of "toxic masculinity"

People can be controlling, manipulative, abusive, rude, and violent. These people, male or female, can be toxic.

There is no shame in being a man. Masculinity is a collection of physical and psychological traits both genetic and learned. Some guys embrace it, some never get a handle on theirs, some reject it, and most people appreciate it.

Women, especially those confident and comfortable in their lives, should be OK with men being men. Heck, be comfortable with anybody being anybody. Call out bad behavior that actually hurts somebody. Picking on people for being who they are is a form of bigotry based on false stereotypes.

Think of the labels targeted at women: Hysterical, bitchy, witch, catty, black widow, airhead, vamp, whore. It would be an outrage to brand half of humanity with "Hysterical Femininity", or "Trampy Femininity". Gross generalizations are simply GROSS.

We should not think of boys as toxic by default. Just because they will grow up to be men. Kids are often rambunctious, and loud, and curious. both boys and girls. Every boy that is restless or energetic needs a social worker or drugs. Let KIDS be kids.

My brothers called me ditzy as a teenager. I may have been a bit flighty and unaware as a kid, but I definitely out grew it. All women are not ditzy, and I am not a ditz. My brothers are still dumb-asses sometimes, but they mostly outgrew that. They are not toxic for being typical big brothers.

I have a type of guy I like, as my insta history shows. I like a guy that is confident and tattooed and has a thick neck. A masculine man that complements my vibe and we can sync together. If I met a guy that was violent, rude, or dismissive of women, I'd give him a piece of my mind. Toxic behavior is not sexy. Manliness is.

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